Who isn’t partial to a damn fine tee? Horror movie shirts offer more than just a way to cover up your torso. They are a unique way of presenting yourself to the world. They are a way to say “I love movies about people who wear other people’s faces – WHAT OF IT?”
They’re apparel for the more discerning movie fan. You know who I mean. The type of cinephile who’s not content to wear a regular plain tee. Nope. You’re happiest wearing the visceral image of an unsightly horror being enacted across your chest. That may include someone without skin. What? Just sayin’. There’s a lot like that.
Depending on your preferred style of terror, there’s guaranteed to be a shirt for you. And as an added bonus, these also make the perfect gifts for horror fans, so you can direct your loved ones to this here blog to inspire ideas for your next birthday present.
Go on, get some ghastly threads and ensure your co-workers know that you know your Freddys from your Jasons. ‘Cause otherwise it would be really embarrassing.
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The 27 best horror movie shirts… ever, probably
1. Evil Dead – “Boomstick”
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[su_column size=”1/2″]With Ash having recently returned to our screens in Ash vs. Evil Dead – see it, it’s gore-rious! – interest in the Deadite slayer has been reignited. And really, why wouldn’t you want to celebrate the best darn S-Mart employee there ever was?
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2. Beetlejuice – “Bio-Exorcist”
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[su_column size=”1/2″]Beetlejuice. The world’s leading bio-exorcist appeals to those ghosts who don’t really want to just rattle chains and groan away in attics. He’s more than happy to rid your home of annoying living people. Help him out with a bit of advertising.
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3. Freddy vs. Jason
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[su_column size=”1/2″]In my eyes, Freddy vs. Jason is an absolute riot. Is it the most highbrow horror ever made? No. But that’s besides the point. We’re talking two horror legends battling it out with a gaggle of teens thrown in the middle as bait. This cute Funko Pops! shirt is a reminder of its brilliance.
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4. It – “You’ll Love It in Derry, Maine!”
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[su_column size=”1/2″]In case you hadn’t heard, It has given the gift of sleepless nights to a whole new generation. That ancient terror that alas, decides to appear as a clown, has invaded both multiplexes and your nightmares. Show the world that you like the movie, you’re not scared of clowns, by wearing a cheeky shirt that doesn’t include explicit references to either. Win win.
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5. Alien – “Not Bad For A Human”
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[su_column size=”1/2″] Alright, so we all began Aliens with the same attitude towards Bishop as Ripley — cautious as hell. Well, what do you expect after Ash’s hideous antics? Then Bishop goes and makes us all feel awful by being the best dang “artificial person” ever. Punch it, Bishop!
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6. Halloween – “Dr. Loomis”
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Granted, Halloween features a lot of bizarre behaviour from Donald Pleasance’s character. A man who is supposedly a medical doctor Dr. Loomis comes out with all sorts of weird shit that probably violates HIPAA. This shirt’s still great though.
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7. The Walking Dead – “The Walken Dead”
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[/su_column] [su_column size=”1/2″]I don’t know anyone who doesn’t, on some level, dig Christopher Walken. That one scene in True Romance? He totally nails it. I mean, he’s a right bastard but still. If there’s one person who can elevate a Walking Dead shirt, it’s him.
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8. The Evil Dead – “Groovy”
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Oi, I never said anything about not having more than one shirt per movie on here, did I? This one is simply too nifty to miss. Wear Ash’s signature weapons like a shield – a badge of honor, if you will – with his boomstick and chainsaw front and center. It is indeed groovy.
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9. The Massacre Machine
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The horror genre is full of super iconic baddies. What if those killers formed some sort of troupe? Kinda like an evil Scooby gang? Well, wonder no more. The sight of this van careening down the street would fill anyone’s trousers with whiff juice.
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10. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
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It’s hard to grumble with this classy design. There’s no mistaking what’s on display: a man wearing someone else’s face, carrying a chainsaw with blood splatters across the shoulder area. For seasoned horror aficionados only.
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11. Silence of the Lambs – “Buffalo Bill’s Body Lotion”
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After Anthony Hopkins’ antics making weird noises at Clarice, the most memorable part of this film is Buffalo Bill’s obsession with making Catherine Martin keep her skin sufficiently moistened: “It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.”
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12. They Live
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I bloody love They Live. This shirt embodies everything that’s so good about it: a planet of indoctrinated citizens, the aliens doing the brainwashing and Roddy Piper beating the shit out of people down alleyways.
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13. Friday the 13th – “Friday the 12th”
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We’ve all been there. Super pumped to get out of bed because it’s Friday only to realise it’s Tuesday. For the poor murderous chap from Friday the 13th, it’s even worse. Which is quite a good thing for campers.
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14. The Shining – “Redrum”
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If Jack Torrance hadn’t stumbled out into the snowy climes of Colorado, moaning and wailing after his son, fumbling with an ax, and subsequently freezing to death I could totally see him becoming an ambassador for RedRum booze.
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15. “Chudweiser” – C.H.U.D.
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There’s a shirt celebrating the ‘80s brilliance that is C.H.U.D. A.K.A that horror movie about hideous monsters living in the New York City sewer with the dad and one of the burglars from Home Alone.
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16. American Horror Story
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The first season of American Horror Story is batshit. I like this shirt particularly because it celebrates that basic fact by making the show appear to be a cross between an early ‘90s Lucasarts point n’click game and something from my nightmares.
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17. Killer Klowns From Outer Space
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I remember seeing this on the shelf at the video store in my hometown when I was a kid. The case alone — which is this image — terrified me beyond belief. This is a classic ‘80s cheesefest that looks like an It knock-off but with more clowns. Sorry, klowns.
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18. An American Werewolf in London – “Beware the Moon”
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Beware the moon isn’t a warning against drinking Blue Moon. No, this is a terrific homage to the best ever werewolf transformation moment in a movie. If it weren’t for the incredible FX team we’d be without all that bone-crunching horror.
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19. Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?
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Now, THIS is real fucking horror. Baby Jane isn’t a blood n’guts, shit-your-pants-at-a-cat-scare type of movie, but it’s nevertheless an exercise in inciting total dread. This shirt sums up that horror rather effectively.
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20. In The Mouth of Madness – “Sutter Cain’s Madness”
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John Carpenter’s In The Mouth of Madness is almost impossible to try and describe with a brief summary you hope will entice a friend who’s said they’re never watching any more Carpenter after Ghosts of Mars. If that’s the case, show them this shirt to convince them.
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21. The Thing
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The best parts of The Thing are when we witness the alien during its transformation. Shocking and all-round vom-inducing, they rock. This shirt brings together two of the most chilling moments together with one of the Huskies looking on as if to say “WTF? Don’t blame me, it was the other one that brought the fucking parasite here!”
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22. Every Slasher Movie
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Oh, now this is nice. For everyone who’s ever yelled at the TV when a character is behaving particularly idiotically. When you think about it, those who get sliced n’diced do tend to trip and fall prior to dying, don’t they?
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23. It – “I’m lovin’ IT”
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Yes, I’m including another It one. Riffing on the ole McDonalds slogan is a fab way of being able to express your love of Pennywise without being *too* scary. I mean, it’s still scary because he’s a clown.
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24. Alien – “Starry Xenomorph”
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The beast from a moon far, far away with a penchant for tearing apart human flesh with either its teeth, tail or acidic blood, appears rather tranquil in this tee. Look how it’s approaching the egg with an almost tender quality. Awww.
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25. Hellraiser – “Pinhead’s Rubik’s Cube”
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The leader of the cenobites Pinhead dares you to solve his Rubiks cube. Because really that’s what we all called it when we were kids and watched Hellraiser at sleepovers. Lemarchand’s box isn’t exactly a kiddy-friendly name for a torturous gateway.
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26. The Dark Tower – “The Man in Black…”
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The Dark Tower might have been a bit of a disappointment at the cinema. Regardless, this shirt will appeal to fans of Stephen King’s source novels, as it features the opening line from the first volume. Brilliant.
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27. Shaun of the Dead – “The Winchester Tavern”
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It’s hard to disagree with the big driving plot point of Shaun of the Dead: if the apocalypse should arrive the best place to hole up and wait it out is definitely the pub. Celebrate the Winchester… then see how many people ask you about Supernatural.
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There you have it. A veritable assortment of horror movie shirts to satisfy every type of horror fan. Whether you’re a seasoned horrorhound, or new to the realm of terror, you want that feeling of film fan pride every time you step outside the house. And what better way to achieve that than with one of these absolutely horrific horror movie shirts?
Images: The Automatik, CC BY-ND 2.0.